It’s true, I’m a bad mom.
I’m a bad mom for having two more kids on top of the three I already had.
I’m a bad mom for not going back to work a full 12 weeks after I had those kids.
I’m a bad mom for not cleaning my house spic’n’span daily.
I’m a bad mom for letting fast food enter my kids bellies.
I’m a bad mom for yelling, for crying, simply for feeling.
I’m a bad mom for multiple reasons. Or so, I think. But, let me honest with you and my self too.
I’m a good mom. I’m a good mom for opening my hearts for two more babies. I’m a good mom for taking time to bond with those babies. I’m a good mom simply for having a roof over our heads. I’m a good mom for filling my kids bellies, so be it fast food. I’m a good mom every day.
However, the thoughts that swirl around your head when your alone as a mom are so real. Especially for those who spend 24/7/365 with your children. Your cut off from the adult world, minus social media which is quick to show the “perfect moms”. The truth behind those pictures is usually the same as what I’m writing here. They feel the same way, they feel like they’re bad moms too.
I’ll be honest when I say I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I don’t have the patience for it, I don’t have the willpower and my mental state thrives when I’m working for myself and my home, not just my home. I’ve lost myself these last 12 weeks. I don’t know who I am anymore. Again, this rings true for many stay at home moms. We forget about us, and live for our household.
Enough is enough.
You’re not a bad mom. It’s time to put you first, if even for a haircut, a day, a pedicure. Do something to find you again. Somebody needs to me to do this, cause I haven’t yet. But damnit! You should! Your mental clarity is of the utmost importance when you have kids.
That’s it for this random rant. Dax is crying, I need to do dishes. I smell because I need a shower and dinner prep is waiting. My day will come, your day is soon. Be there for you mama.